Finding Me

That is such a hard thing to hear when you don't feel well. According to all my blood tests I'm pretty healthy at this point. I do have a slightly fatty liver that I am trying to take care of by eating well and doing things to take it easy on my liver. I still had a high d- dimer...2 now....but no blood clots so no idea why I have those. Maybe I just run high. I'm healthy, I really am.  I still strongly believe everything is hormonal. I believe I'm starting the perimenopause stage of life. I meet with the doctor this week to discuss my blood tests for my hormones and everything and HOPEFULLY get a plan of action so I can once again feel normal. I feel off the gluten free wagon. I'm trying to get back on. I don't think my stomach really enjoyed being back on the gluten for those couple of weeks. But these days I honestly don't know if it is bothered or not. It could just be a hormone fluctuation at the time that throws me off.  I'm ...

I'm so hungry. I want pizza and cookies! But no, I can't right now. Because of all this mess I've been dealing with, I have had to change how I eat and take a small handful of supplements a day. So I'm taking a multi-directional approach to try to heal myself until I can get the money to see the doctors that I want.  (I'm thinking of giving my primary doc another shot since at least insurance will pay for it) Right now, I highly suspect Adrenal Fatigue as a problem. I don't sleep. I try, I really do but I wake up around 3am for no reason. I feel okay until about 2-3pm and I just want to crash.  Come 9pm...I'm wide awake.  It's a vicious cycle. I'm dizzy at least half the time I stand up from sitting. And really what are these wrinkles on my left hand? I don't have diabetes, or much or anything. My blood pressure was always a bit high in the doctors office. I need to monitor it more now though. So Adrenal...

I don't expect this blog to honestly ever be read by anyone but me. I mean really, who even blogs anymore?  This is really for me and my journey and if somebody comes across it one day and finds it helpful, great! Most likely they'll just find me a bit crazy! So how this all came about.... Well, end of May of this year, after working too many hours a week and dealing with some very difficult situations with my child at her school, I imploded/exploded. I just lost it really. I started having some crazy anxiety and panic attacks! Granted, I'm a very bit of a high strung person. But this was not me. It seemed to start out slow but it escalated quickly. I had to actually walk out of a place we frequently ate out at because I got overwhelmed by ALL the people (it was before lunch rush and had maybe 8 people in the whole place!). Not even the worst really. I couldn't eat much of anything anymore because my throat was so tight ALL. THE. TIME. It regularly felt li...